TIM PO RARE UH LI DISS CO NECK TED

.."Oh no you didn't Miss Thang!!"----Gil

i'm an asshole. i'm an asshole. and i'm an asshole. cause if you never called me you wouldn't be in that situation. i caint say nothing else but sorry. this patience and friendship thing is killer. but i know i need to learn. i'm sorry if i hurt you. and i didn't mean to make you upset. and i deserved all that that you said. hopefuly one day in sum way.. you can forgive me. and i can learn how to be a true friend.

cause everybody needs a friend.. to be there when your lonely... Syol

and damm.... you can say some fucked up shit when you want to huh.... you go girl :)

if not now.... then when.... if not today... then... why make your promises... a love.. delayed for days to come... is as good as none... --Tracy Chapman

i just typed a whole bunch of shit that i'm so sure you'll misinterpret i was just like fuck it.. i'll stick to the facts

you dont call
you dont write
you had no plans to visit....

and i never asked you to be my girlfriend

and if sending things back make the life you live a little easier... by all means.... i could care less at this point... you've been put in a place in my heart and mind where broke things go until i have the strength to put them together again..... you have become a part of... that infinite sadness.... oh well....

Syol

dear you,

i love you in all ways and at all times. you'll look back and laugh (and cry), but rest assured it will get better.

love,
i

ughhhh.... freedom

my umi said shine your light on the world
shine your light for the world 2 see
----Mos Def

my new year's resolution is to live up to freedom..... free myself.. and not b a victim of my fears ... of failure....of being alone.... and of biting off more than i can chew.. i love eating (just ask.... ummmm) and i can be a clingy fucker sometimes... clinging to hope when hope just is.... clinging to dreams when dreams just are... clinging to love when... fuck... love is... (or it ain't).... but i shall be thee... Jata Free and light calls me... art calls me and imma try to do that.... even when earthly concerns bind a nigga.... make me scared a bill aint gon get paid or some expectations won't be lived up to... i'm not what anyone expects... i'm a muthafuckin hurricane baby.... ughhh.. maybe??.... i might just be a really annoying rain shower.. lol

and i also want to thank god for fufilling my prayers (geechee as it were)

excerpt from a lettter to god written in September:
"dear god,
i am the grass and she is the earth, then let us b together. i only want to chance to know her, feel her. The opportunity to show her love. i know she will be afraid, but i will be strong for the both of us. dear god let me love and be loved"

and you gave me all that i requested..... nothing more.. nothing less.... fuck any muthafucka who say you ain't real...

some shit i love to hear "... and 2003 is my year!" ....tell em babygirl!!........ <3 Syol

Cry

i'm sitting on the edge of my bed
wondering what it is to be free
hurting not just for me
but knowing this is the everyday
for you
and this is the truth
of why you cry

so baby
i'll cry a river for you (and me too)
cause i guess that's the best i can do

do they mean to hurt you??
hold back your wings
it seems only the cruelest heart
can make a prisoner of the syol
but maybe when you get old
and your path is ending
you need to trample on fertile ground
to ease the lie you living

so baby
i'll cry a river for you (and me too)
cause i guess that's the best i can do

tell me a dream in nexus
you had last night
the one where you are smiling
and you love your body
like i do ;)... ohhhhh
and your photographs are spread
across the floor
you mind has a bomb poem in it
and this pain is a memory...
fuck em'

until then.....
baby
i'll cry a river for you (and me too)
cause i guess that's the best i can do



be assured that your friend will be there
so keep stretching your wings in the air ..... your SyolieSunshine

Europe.... beautiful place... you don't really understand old... don't really understand American... don't really understand body odor... until you've been to Europe... and contrary to popular belief.. they don't hate us.... they just got assholes there just like every other place on earth.... i made 3 friends and i was only there 3 days.... go figure...

and the French have some cute little ways.... oh la la..... la la la la la la.... their children are so adorable... there was this little black girl walking down the steps of the metro after her father chattering away... "Papa.... ou estceque vous allez.... papa jai faim...papa..." i wish i had my camera.. she was scooting them little short legs down them steps.... i want one just like her.....

what's up David, Martine, and Fred... mais France est Premier!!!!!!!!! lol :)