smile baby..... i pray to god that the check comes soon... i am trapped between pressure and intuition.... how did i get myself in this?... i feel drowned in understanding.... the fingers of awkardness twisted aroud my neck.... and i caint breathe....

smile baby... i get a feeling that i dont belong here... that i am not welcome here... that i have come.... but only 2 b tripped on.... trapped in... yeah i am trapped... trapped in the icy cold of a backseat... in the icy tension of a conversation.. writing messages in the window to passersby "H E L P M E !"

smile baby.... how can i smile how do i..... when i am furious.... furious @ confusion... furious @ deceit.... when i am furious @ us... i am furious @ lies... i am furious @ phoniness... i am furious @ my naivety... furious @ northwest airlines for not dropping me off in Montego Bay.... ... furius @ my girlfriend for saying "dont to even worry about it"... i am furous @ furuiz that i cant even spell it anymore.... furious @ the blood running through my veins making me aware..... of everything

smile baby..... baby i tried.... but i felt the darkness creep upon me like smoke.... strangling my vocal cords.... wind so cold that i learned my lesson quickly... built my walls swiftly.... like a girl in the Soweto night.... im sorry baby....but i couldnt.... i wouldnt smile and make like the shit was okay.... cause it was wrong baby.... it made me wanna HOLLA... made me wanna SCREAM.... so iwas grateful that my silence ='d death... that my silence='d death... that my silence ='d death ..... smile baby