from now till the hour of our death
(a geechee for this womans' spirit)

this is ageechee for this womans spirit..... a geechee cause she is why i am who i am... she is why im is... who im is..... this is a geechee cause i felt your spirit leave that room.... and it changed my fuckin life.....i felt it so powerful that i stopped workin you for a minute ms lady... but started again cause i saw ya baby in the corner.... wishin you'd come back...

this is a geechee for this womans spirit.... cause you is as important to me as.... my sweet old mama was.... cause through you i sent her my best.... that through your skin..... i felt hers.... hopin she was proud of me.... givin her the message that her child... her legacy.... her work..... was not in vain..... that with every press upon yo chest.... i wanted to save you... just as much as let you go...... that i aint try to keep you from mother god..... but only to ease your familys pain... cause yo spirit was too strong to have lived a life of regret.....

this is a geechee for this womans spirit.... for the look in her daughters eyes... for her curled in the arms of another...not wanting to see you thaat way... fo pain laid raw.... for life laid bare.... for understandin...... we born..... we live.... we die....


all i can hear is the screaming.... the look in that girl's eyes.....
" "Lettie.... get up lettie".... "oh lawd i heard them children yellin but i just aint come"..... "Nanny!!!!..... nannnyyy please".... "oh god help her".... i fuckin fell off the porch for that spine board....

and then her daughter... momma?".... "momma?"..... "momma nooooooooooo!!!" ... awakened from a disturbed sleep.... she blindsighted by a beloveds last moment....yet her image pervades... i learn later she was an only child.... god i just so much on my psyche right now....

damm yall... been awhile... i missed u... do u still love me... i still love u
just playing.... i'm gonna fix this shit..... sorry not about the myspace popularity billshit... friends and such... who gives a fuck... u aint popular cause somebody added u to a buddy list..... *guilty as charged your honor*..... syolstice is just to remind myself

New Developments2006

• Okay so this computer is fuckin awsome....was there a time when I didnt have one??... oh yeah... 2 weks ago...
• .. in Love with The Gossip
• Hurricane Katrina broke up myonly long term relationship... so to speak (that and my sexes wit the exes)
• lost 50 lbs.... love bein a fat girl but the shit was gettin a lil outta control
• entered the matrix---- now im a fully programmed Home Depot member... but make no mistake... still all about the revolution......not gonna work work work
• thinkin about having a baby... a bit apprehensive about asking smart, cute, kind dudes for their chromes.... like hey you... I really like that hair of yours... r u gay..... u went to college.... any medical problems... hmmmmm???.... I mean how do you do that.... Can u gimme ya chromes?
• Still wanna make love on Sunday mornin.... still
• in love (as usual) with this girl in my EMT class.... her energy makes it so the skinn in closest proximity to her is the hottest... caint sit next to her ass or I might blow the hell up....
• Taught my nephew... either speak up.... or shut the hell up.... nigga caint have it both ways...
• Really contemplated the word nigga.... yeah... think it’s a keeper.... Neva Ignorant Gettin Goals Accomplished... Ice Cube...
• Cried when stevie wonder was on American Idol... he is a manifestation of gods greatness... no doubt...
• For a minute thought about being celibate.... my girl was gone.... I was depressed.... shit was pretty much fucked up and the sex I was havin wasnt worth a damm.... until SHE came to town.... SHE changes everything.... leave it to she to fuck wit my mind
• Rethinking about being celibate.... pussy shouldn’t be high on the list of anyones priorties....plus makin love..... no words
• .... I've been having dreams about my daughters.... none about fish like on Soul Food but its still a sign i believe
• Learned that some shit just aint worth it..... the drama... the chaos.... the pain.... my mindset.... that being blown.... means ya blew it....

"i'm tellin ya all... it all falls down" Lauryn Hill... Mystery of Inequity

New Orleans.... Nawlins as we say..... my poor lil nawlins... levees broken... soul stolen

i was drivin through the city the other day... got out on esplanade and claiborne and stood on the corner where vibe used to be..... i dont know.... i was trying to explain to Ashley this was the place................................................................... it was

my apartment is hot as a backwoods oven so i finally decide my light bill is not as important as a womans comfort.... each time the ac begins a new cycle i'm countin.... $1....$2....$3..... shyt... i've become a cheap nigga during this Katrina mess.... FEMA aint payin for shit where i reside...

.... anyway..... i enjoy her..... sneaking glances at her lips mouthin the words "you took me ridin on a rocket and game me a star"...... yeah... and when you leave..... i'll drop down to this cold... cold world..... she twists her fingers through my hair..... i feel that heat she make me feel..... how do you say....like..... maybe i can be good.... but most likely i caint.... i usually mess it up.... but i will be as good as i can... understand

.... she tells me about her ex... the sex.... the mess.... its kinda funny... when comin to break u off comes on and shes tell me what she likes to do.... how she like to be broke off..... she says i look too femme not to let niggas break me off.... i tell her i do the breakin... if theres any to be done.... i think to myself though..... i wanna make whats missing.... found... or at least be discovered.... i tell her i can cum in my own mind.... that i can just think of good love... good pussy... nice titties.... beautiful smiles... a scent... a voice.... a feeling..... and just cum....

"when did you know?"..... i lovd the way she asked.... i have a hard time wit that question... but i lovd the way she asked.... "the minute i got some pussy i guess" i said... though i kinda regretted sayin that stupid shit... sound like sumethin unfeeling to say.... truth is..... i never knew.... we never know for sure..... its just the way i feel.... i said "lemme take that back"...." it wasn't the pussy.... its the way she made me feel".....

an no i didnt try to kiss her.... i didnt try to fuck her... and i didnt try to touch her in a sexual way..... maybe she just need someone to be wit.... just be with.... just be intimate with but not try to get all in her ass..... but i love the way she smile.... i love the way she smell.... leavin her scent behind on my pillow.... i like how she is.... i like how she make me feel.....

baby, baby baby... dont cha worry bout nuthin....cause i'm comin.... to handle you no doubt
whenever you want that thing ya need.... i got it and i'm aim to please.... i comin over to give it to you bay"....... The Roots...Break U Off....