girls...... what other reason is there to live besides girls... in my head i know that my only weakness is female preoccupation.... "lemme be wit chu!!!".. so pathetic...

i'm soooooo sick of dating.... i'm sick of being the best friend/bed buddy/m.oral support.. i'm just like no.... if were friends... were friends... stop playing with me... they forget that you have feelings cause your honest and express them so freely... but that didn't come easy... i had to make an effort to be real with you... i had to make an effort to write that letter, to say those words, to sleep with you... these were acts of faith... of belief... not acts of despiration.... or convience... i gave you the best of what little i had left in me... i squeezed pain out of the only love i had left... and it left me running on empty... runnin on empty

last night i swear i was like maybe the life i've been given is not the one i was was meant to have... maybe who i am is not who i was meant to be... i switched bodies and lifestyles and bank accounts with someone with my life... who is just as lost as i am....

i'm tired of trying.... i will take my own advice... love is... or love is not... there is no in between

peace... your solitary systa... Syol